Day 4/7 The Interdependent Challenge

I must admit, I wasn’t very interdependent today but, on the positive side, I wasn’t very codependent either. However, I did witness a lovely act which shall suffice to fill in for the day’s challenge.

I was over at a friend’s house when the teenage son came in and, grabbing a plate out of the cupboard, gathered an afternoon snack. As his fingers touched the back side of the plate they slid against some leftover grease. “Ewwww,” he said, “why is this plate so dirty?”

The mother, who has designated dishwashing as one of his chores, casually replied, “That’s what happens when you don’t wash dishes properly.” She didn’t get up and offer to clean the dish, nor take over his duties so that it would be done right, she just told it like it was. In a calm, rather benign manner, she held space for her son so he could witness the consequences of his negligence.

It was perfect. My friend manifested appropriate boundaries without shaming or bailing out her child. He learned, or at least started learning a lesson, about house maintenance and responsibility that would ultimately be a bonus for the family if not his future partners and, while no one was particularly energized, no one loss energy either. Mutuality, respect and community: Interdependence.