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A creative discussion on life ...
What better way to make the first dip into the metaphoric inkwell of blog-land than to do so with a confession.
I confess:
For years, whenever I heard the word codependence, I cringed. I denied any relationship to it and avoided all who portrayed what I figured to be its stereotype: helpless, needy souls pleading, begging to be liked. I couldn’t stand the idea of associating with these kinds of people. You see I was, or at least I imagined I was, it’s antithesis: independent, hard working, selfless and most specifically, in control.
So, it is somewhat ironic that I should not only design a program but name a blog and website with this dreaded word. Moreover, in the last few years, I have grown particularly fond of it. It has a nice ring to it, don’t you think? I can even say it aloud: “Codependence”, without a grimace.
The bottom line is that as much as I hated the idea of associating with “codependents” (and I use those quotation marks judiciously), I was as much in that state as those I avoided. I wanted to be loved, validated and accepted as much as they did. My methods were just more socially acceptable.
What I hope to do with this blog is to shine a light on this most human of conditions so that more than just the shadow is seen. With (ir)regular submissions I plan to illuminate how accepting and appreciating codependence as a creative response to childhood needs is but a stepping stone to reclaiming our wholeness.
Welcome to my blog.
Oh, for a more in-depth definition of codependence I encourage you to visit my website Creative Codependence and select articles.
I confess:
For years, whenever I heard the word codependence, I cringed. I denied any relationship to it and avoided all who portrayed what I figured to be its stereotype: helpless, needy souls pleading, begging to be liked. I couldn’t stand the idea of associating with these kinds of people. You see I was, or at least I imagined I was, it’s antithesis: independent, hard working, selfless and most specifically, in control.
So, it is somewhat ironic that I should not only design a program but name a blog and website with this dreaded word. Moreover, in the last few years, I have grown particularly fond of it. It has a nice ring to it, don’t you think? I can even say it aloud: “Codependence”, without a grimace.
The bottom line is that as much as I hated the idea of associating with “codependents” (and I use those quotation marks judiciously), I was as much in that state as those I avoided. I wanted to be loved, validated and accepted as much as they did. My methods were just more socially acceptable.
What I hope to do with this blog is to shine a light on this most human of conditions so that more than just the shadow is seen. With (ir)regular submissions I plan to illuminate how accepting and appreciating codependence as a creative response to childhood needs is but a stepping stone to reclaiming our wholeness.
Welcome to my blog.
Oh, for a more in-depth definition of codependence I encourage you to visit my website Creative Codependence and select articles.
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2010
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February
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- Day 7/7 The Interdependent Challenge
- Day 6/7 The Interdependent Challenge
- Day 6/7 The Interdependence Challenge
- Day 5/7 The Interdependent Challenge
- Day 4/7 The Interdependent Challenge
- Day 3/7 The Interdependent Challenge
- Day 2/7 The Interdependence Challenge
- Day 1/7 My Interdependent Action for Today
- Upcoming Workshop March 20 For more information go...
- Interdependence
- The Essence of ARC Workshop
- Of Being Human
- The Girl Cell
- Self Responsibility
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February
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e Feb 21st suggestion to keep a list of several days of interdependent activities--I didn't have to do it! These new behaviors have been happening in the past month after a number of ARC sessions and were just waiting to be acknowledged. Thanks for the space to do it!
ReplyDelete1.When I've been at a crossroads in my life in the past, I see now that I've jumped into a relationship/hooked up with someone who has what I think I need, want ie. info/security/fame/fortune. How co-dependent of me! Now that I can own this behavior, I observe myself attempting to rely on my own strengths/resources like researching at the library, spending time thinking, mapping, doing exercises and wondering what I really want and working towards making this shift from the inside out as well as the outside in.
2. I've disconnected from 3 people who I feel have no free attention and who I found uninteresting and de-energizing--yes I was giving much more than I was receiving. I hate to say it but thot I might reap some benefits if I hung in there-not! I somehow didn't get the sense this was dishonest behavior --just another flavor of cdp I'm aware of.
3. I'm not asking questions of people I have no interest in hearing the answers for--caught myself doing this--trying to be nice, make small talk, be personable. Yuk! The quiet is sometimes uncomfortable but I can dig it.....ride it out.
M. K. Joss
Thanks for the comments, Madelainne. Its exciting and challenging work. I like how you say you can "own this behaviour". I hear you saying that when we do this we have the potential to creatively respond to life and, as a wonderful byproduct, we open space for others to creatively respond to their lives. Mutuality, respect, community: interdependence.
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